his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
