i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
