vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
