he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
