dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
