You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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