the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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