i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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