So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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