i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
