there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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