fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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