my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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