it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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