You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
