Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
