i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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