A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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