I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
