So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
