I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
