I just made out with a guy for $7.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
