Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
