He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
