Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
