yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
