So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
