someone threw a dead crab at me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How external is "for external use only"?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
