I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
