I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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