the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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