Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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