She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
