In the future we'll all be gay
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
