your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
