I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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