Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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