I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
