lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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