i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
