Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
