thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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