We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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