My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
