hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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