so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
