3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
