How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
