All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
