And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
